How To Find & Free Yourself of The Gilded Carriages In Your Life

Do you ever take the easy way out, say ‘yes’ when your gut says ‘no,’ or give up on your biggest dreams for something more practical, socially acceptable, or “reasonable”?

If you are plagued by any of those conundrums, keep reading. I will show you: a) you are not alone, b) the wild woman in you knows better and can do better, and c) I really hope you take this away, too — you don’t deserve the shiny object, you deserve the actual gold.

Thanks for taking this reading journey with me, sister.

I’ll begin by sharing an excerpt from one of my most cherished books (one that you should buy STAT), Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph.D. It comes from the chapter entitled “The Traps,” section “Self-Preservation: Identifying Leg Traps”:

credit: wikipedia.com

Trap #1: The Gilded Carriage, The Devalued Life

In archetypal symbolism, the carriages is a literal image, a conveyance that carries something from one place to another. In modern dream material and contemporary folklore it has been mostly supplanted by the automobile, which as the same archetypal “feel” to it. Classically, this sort of “carrying” conveyance is understood as the central mood of the psyche that transports us from one place in the psyche to another, from one idea to another, from one thought to another, and from one endeavor to another.

Climbing into the old woman’s gilded carriage her is very similar to entering the gilded cage; it supposedly offers something more comfortable, less stressful but in effect catpures instead. It entraps in a way that is not immediately perceivable, since gilt tends to be so dazzling at first. So we imagine we are going down the road of our own lives, in our handsome shoes, and a mood comes over us, something like this: “Maybe, something else would be better; something that isn’t so difficult, something that takes less time, energy, or striving.”

It often happens in women’s lives. We are in the midst of an endeavor, and feeling anywhere from good to bad about it. We are just making up our lives as we go along and doing the best we can. But soon something washes over us, something that says, This is pretty hard. But look at that beautiful something-or-other over thre. That gussied-up thing looks easier, finer, more compelling. All of a sudden the gilded carriage rolls up, the door opens, the little stairs drop down, and we step in. We have been seduced. This temptation occurs on a regular and sometimes daily basis. Sometimes it is hard to say no.

So we marry the wrong person because it makes our economic lives easier. We give up on the new piece we’re working on and go back to the easier but old tired-out one we’ve been pushing around on the floor for the last ten years. We don’t take that good poem into the finer-than-fine range but leave it in its third draft instead of raking through it one more time.

The gilded carraige scenario overwhelms the simple joy of red shoes. While we could interpret this as a woman’s quest for material goods and comforts, more often it expresses a simple psychological desire to not have to toil so at the basic matters of a creative life. The desire to have it easier is not the trap; that is something the ego naturally desires. Ah, but the price. The price is the trap. The trap is sprung when the child goes to live with the rich old woman. There she must remain proper and silent…no overt yearning allowed, and more specifically, no fulfillment of that yearning. This is the beginning of soul famine for the creative spirit.

[…]

There are many things that try to force, sweep, seduce away those handmade shoes, seeming simple things like saying: “Later, I’ll do that dance, planting, hugging, finding, planning, learning, peace-making, cleansing…later.” Traps, all.

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There is so much HOWL here! 🐺

What direction to go with this epic, aescerbic yet emblematic allegory? I promise this post is not some gilded carriage for you to slip away into. That’s not my coaching style. Time and place for the golden glory, but I am going to do you the good deed of revealing where you find these modern day gilded carriage-cages in your life. You’ll emerge with much more recognition of when these carriages pull up—and with that awareness, the capacity to to make more the right choices for YOU. Our ethos is to support strong women who tap into their boldness to say ‘no’ to the easy choice that ultimately leads to depletion, and tap into that same boldness to say ‘yes’ to the hard choice that ultimately leads to fulfillment.

You’ll see that monopoly companies like Uber and Amazon offer plenty and plenty of gilded carriages that find in-ways to every area of our lives below. I interpret these as the modern day gilded carriages we are seduced with.

You’ll also recognize how your every decision is in constant communication with your womanhood. You are directly, clearly, energetically conveying your self-concept of self-respect, self-trust, and self-worth to the deep psyche of your womanhood, and that psyche hears you — in whispers and in screams, say “I am worth it!” or “I am not worth it.” It never misses a message.

In each category below, I will point out where you might be missing some sneaky messages feeding — as another allegory goes “the bad wolf.”

In order to succeed in capturing the gilded carriage moments, you must become the hyper-vigilant gatekeeper of your authentic needs, noticing whenever a temptation passes by that might seem “better” but wouldn’t really fill your soul.

Your job, Sister, is to notice when you feel the seductive pull of the shiny object and to examine, somatically, wether it is in line with your soul’s nutritional profile or just junk food.

In each of the following holistic wellness fields, ask yourself:
Is this a cage that captures you or a vehicle that vivifies you?

The capturing carriage has been well-defined by Miss Estes; the vehicle that vivifies is the choice that feeds the good, growing wolf in you.

Like Miss Estes, I am here to awaken the wild and good wolf in you — the one that robustly feeds your soul, not the one who deceives you into a devolved version of yourself.

Pillar One: Gilded Carriages in the Fitness World

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